When I first found out my husband cheated on me, I was outraged, I was fuming. I had not seen this coming – not in a million years. My husband? The one who said he would always talk to me if anything was wrong? The one who had been cheated on in his previous relationship, and told me how it crushed him? It couldn’t be true. I couldn’t believe it. But there it was staring me straight in the face, proof beyond any reasonable doubt. My husband was having an affair!
I was alone at home when I found out, snooping on his computer, after months of trying to convince myself that it couldn’t be true. I was just being paranoid, just being stupidly jealous for no reason. The girl I suspected him of having an affair with was just an employee, just a NEW employee which was SMSing my husband 10 times a day, morning and night. It was normal, right??? She had questions about the new job. She needed him to guide her. To mentor her. But who was I kidding? It wasn’t normal. In the 10 years I’ve known him he never SMS’d so much, not even with his best friend.
I’ve always been 100% trusting, never snooped; I never even opened his mail, or answered his phone. I respected his privacy. But now I could tell that something was not quite right. I just couldn’t put my finger on it. But I had this crazy hunch, a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. A feeling I could no longer ignore. Call it an instinct, intuition, or a woman’s sixth sense. What ever it was I couldn’t push it away any longer, I just had to find out.
So one Sunday afternoon, when he was out, I decided to stop tormenting myself with the thoughts and the suspicion. I decided it was time to act. I knew what I was doing was morally wrong. I was about to spy on my husband, invade his privacy. But I had no choice. I just had to do this, to quiet my nerves. So I logged on his computer and searched.
To my surprise, I didn’t even need to look too far, or too long. There it was in his e-mail folder, a file with her name. Adrenaline rushing through my body, I clicked on the folder only to unravel 100’s of e-mails he had received from her in the past month. Some with pictures, some just dirty text, some love poems, and some saved chats. I was sick with disgust. The evidence was unbelievable. It confirmed the thing I was dreading the most. My husband was cheating on me!
So what’s my moral for today? If you’re feeling suspicious….you probably have been given a reason to feel that way. In general your gut has a way of being incredibly accurate. Your body is warning you, trying to keep you safe. So ladies and men if in doubt don’t turn a blind eye – trust your intuition!
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