Thinking about it now, I never really had a chance. On average,statistics show that approximately 40% of marriages end up in a divorce. And even worse 50-60% of newly weds divorce within the first five years of their marriage. That's more than one out of three marriages doomed to fail. I am one of those statistics!
What's worse is finding out that the likelihood of failure increases with certain factors such as having:
Divorced parents - Yes he does
Mixed religions - Yes we did
Lower education - Yes he does
No children -None that I'm aware of
Infidelity - Yes he did - and that's the one that just pushed the total off the edge and raised our likelihood of failure to 100%.
So had I just done my math a bit earlier I would have already foreseen the results, turned around and fled while I still had some sense in me. But no one ever thinks "this is going to happen to me!". We stand at the alter and say "till death do us part" - not "till divorce do us part"!
So how do we know when we've found Mr. right? Or if were heading for disaster with Mr. wrong? Is there some formula to getting it right? I don't know about you but the least I can say is that I've learned a lot from this relationship. I learned exactly what I DO and even more so what I do NOT want in my man. And I've made a list, so hopefully next time around I might just get it right. He should be educated, from a good family, he needs to have the same values and beliefs as me, a desire to have children, should be romantic, shouldn't have a background of cheating....and the list goes on and on and on.
But am I being too demanding?
Where do we draw the line?
Do we compromise on our new set standards?
I know I'm not alone out there. So if you're going through the same thing, and thinking to yourself how do I go on from here? Let me know. I'm listening!
Hi Light
ReplyDeleteI guess one can never be sure whether he had met Mr. wrong or found Mr. right.untill its too late. Statistics is nice but eventually each case is 100% Mr wrong or 100%Mr right. So all one can do is - hope for good and try to mend the wounds of Mr wrong, hopefully with the help of Mr right.
Good Luck!
Thanks Ben!
ReplyDeleteYou're absolutely right. We never know until its too late. Cause if we did know, we wouldn't be marrying that person in the first place.
Still I have to ask.... now that I know what I want in my next partner, will I find Mr. right? Is making a list a good thing or should I compromise?
I don't agree with you. If you play according to the statistic you can reduce the risk to minimum. Why to go against all odds? It’s like poker game if you see 3 Aces on the table you won’t go for full house. Marriage’s like a poker game you got to know when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em, if not go play solitaire.
ReplyDelete